In the past two weeks, I have been undergoing a tremendous emotional roller coaster. The whole city of Seattle is getting ready to celebrate a joyous festival of humanity, a 5-day gathering (organized by Seeds of Compassion) to share the vision of compassion with His Holiness Dalai Lama. Communities from different works of life and different religious faith are coming together for celebrations. People from all over the country are convening to share their visions, experiences and stories of the work of compassion. My friends and I are busy preparing for the upcoming events with excitement and anticipation…
On the other hand, I am greatly saddened by the growing hostilities towards Tibetans and His Holiness among my own countrymen. Before this current conflict arise, I thought that Chinese were just indifferent to Tibet issue but I had not imagined that the very people subjected to the suppression and manipulation of the government would choose not to excercise their judgement and discernment. These people include highly educated intellectuals and those receiving PhD degrees and living in US for decades …
I had several conversations with some of my Chinese co-workers. I realize that in today’s informational age, one pretty much can find “hard” evidences to back up whatever stories one chose to subscribe to. For example, two things are deeply ingrained in the minds of people from mainland China, due to decades of propaganda. One is “Tibet has always been part of China”. Second is “Dalai Lama is a liar”. Along these lines, they can find mountains of "convincing evidences" that further reinforce their beliefs. These two notions were so deeply planted into people’s consciousness that they grew deep roots in their subconsciousness and these roots were tied in with their emotions. Therefore, when I tried to present evidences from the opposite sides, it is no longer an objective discussion, my opposition presented as a serious emotional threat to them. The fact that these opposition came from a Chinese offended them even more.
I also realize that years of suppression have deposited tons of negative emotions in people’s subconsciousness. I saw so much fear, anger and frustration. These emotions are not evident in normal daily life. In fact, people are not aware of these subconscious emotions themselves. Situations like this have created an outlet for them to express these negative emotions.
However, I can feel everything they feel, because I had been one of them. If this conflict had happened 10 years ago, I would have reacted the same way as they did. I probably would have gone to the street and joined the pro-government protest, all the while feeling proud of my patriotic action. That was because 10 years ago, I lived in the confinement of walls that I wasn’t aware of. Luckily, the divine force of life has led me out of the prison and showed me love and faith right in face.
A Chinese recently asked me, what would happen if I found out Dalai Lama was lying . I told her that I believed in Dalai Lama not because he is Dalai Lama, but because everything he had said and done was in line with love and compassion, which was my true faith. Whether someone lies or not has nothing to do with my faith. She didn’t understand that faith coming from one’s own heart did not need any outside proofs. To believe in my faith, I do not need photos from any news agency nor do I need articles written by historians or experts. The people who have touched my heart and soul are my proof. My loving friends and their precious friendships are my proof. The spiritual awakening I experienced on the pilgrimage in Tibet is my proof. The transforming force that has shaped my life and brought me joys beyond my imagination was my proof. My own life is my proof.
At the eve of the Seeds of Compassion festival, I felt deeply saddened that most of my fellow countrymen in Seattle choose not to be part of this feast of joy. Compassion is the most precious gift of life. Nothing is more saddening when people choose not to receive it. Life without compassion is life without sunshine. However, at the end of night, a new day is bound to come. And this new day will only be dawning when we consciously choose to act out of compassion and love in every single moment, even in the face of confrontation, even in the face of hatred, even in the face of animosity, even in this moment!
I pray to the divine forces, please give me infinite capacity for compassion. Please give me strength and endurance to face anything that hurts or makes me squint. No matter what has happened, please never let me lose my compassion and faith.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
A smile from the universe
A friend lately has asked me, “look at what you want to achieve, it is so colossally difficult. There is almost zero possibility that you would succeed. Why are you still doing all these?” Of course, I don’t agree with her that the there is zero possibility of success but there is also no point reasoning with her because we have totally different reference points. So I told her, “Even if there is no possibility of success, I would still do this, because this work gives me so much joy, joy that is beyond my imagination”.
Yes, everyday the news is depressing. Everyday there is more hatred, more violence, more separation, … But at the same time, I also see more beauty, more love and more courage …
Some of you may also have the same experiences; the more we act out of our true and higher self, the more joyful synchronicity we experience in our life. The concept of synchronicity is first created by psychologist Carl Jung. “Synchronous events reveal an underlying pattern which encompasses, but is larger than, any of the systems which display the synchronicity.” I’d like to share one small story of synchronicity with you.
About a week before the outbreak of the crisis in Tibet, I went to a meeting in a building that I have visited many times before. On that day, I happened to see a framed quote from one of my spiritual teachers, Reverend Keith Rhinehart. That frame has always been there but somehow that day it intensely grabbed my attention. It says, “A new era of human consciousness is dawning. Look around you, daybreak is everywhere…” “Daybreak is everywhere” has created a vivid image in my head and struck me as a flash light in the dark.
Daybreak occurs at the darkest and coldest moment. One of my passions is mountain climbing. Several years ago, my climbing partners and I went on a rock climbing trip and got off route. We were forced to spend a night without any camping equipment on a small ledge of a table top size on the cliff side of a mountain at 9000 ft. We spent a cold long night huddling with each other on that ledge. When the night got colder and colder, we knew that morning was getting closer and closer. It was when the cold and darkness became unbearable; dawn suddenly came through, bringing light and warmth… This quote suddenly brought back that memory to me.
Days later the crisis in Tibet escalated. An unexpected event happened to me and led me to write the first article under the name Skylark. Per suggestion of a friend, I chose a pen name to protect my identity. "Skylark" came in a flash of intuition. I liked it because lark was a very common bird that can be found almost everywhere in the world. And I always liked the singing of the “Skylark”, a particular one native to China.
The week after that I was on an emotional roller coaster. Watching the two groups of people who I connect to deeply being engulfed in hatred and violence has put a huge toll on me. But I managed to pull through… I knew something had changed inside of me and another dimension of my life is starting to unfold and will create a whole new layer of depth and width…
This morning was the first time I re-centered myself after this emotional roller coaster. In the crack of dawn, before I drove out to work, I decided to change the CD that I’ve been listening to in my car for the past week. As I pulled out the CD and put it back into its CD case, a line of small texts on the back of the case suddenly caught my eyes. Of course, this is a CD I’ve owned for years and never have I noticed this line on the case. It says,
“Like the lark at break of day, arising from the sullen earth, sing hymns at the heaven’s gate.” –Shakespeare, Sonnet 29
Suddenly, a wave of warmth enfolded me. I looked up through my tears-filled eyes. A thick layer of fog was dancing through the trees and the birds were chipping a spring time song… Everything is extremely bright in the morning sun. The world is painfully beautiful and full of life. Right then, I saw a smile delivered from the deep heart of the universe.
Yes, everyday the news is depressing. Everyday there is more hatred, more violence, more separation, … But at the same time, I also see more beauty, more love and more courage …
Some of you may also have the same experiences; the more we act out of our true and higher self, the more joyful synchronicity we experience in our life. The concept of synchronicity is first created by psychologist Carl Jung. “Synchronous events reveal an underlying pattern which encompasses, but is larger than, any of the systems which display the synchronicity.” I’d like to share one small story of synchronicity with you.
About a week before the outbreak of the crisis in Tibet, I went to a meeting in a building that I have visited many times before. On that day, I happened to see a framed quote from one of my spiritual teachers, Reverend Keith Rhinehart. That frame has always been there but somehow that day it intensely grabbed my attention. It says, “A new era of human consciousness is dawning. Look around you, daybreak is everywhere…” “Daybreak is everywhere” has created a vivid image in my head and struck me as a flash light in the dark.
Daybreak occurs at the darkest and coldest moment. One of my passions is mountain climbing. Several years ago, my climbing partners and I went on a rock climbing trip and got off route. We were forced to spend a night without any camping equipment on a small ledge of a table top size on the cliff side of a mountain at 9000 ft. We spent a cold long night huddling with each other on that ledge. When the night got colder and colder, we knew that morning was getting closer and closer. It was when the cold and darkness became unbearable; dawn suddenly came through, bringing light and warmth… This quote suddenly brought back that memory to me.
Days later the crisis in Tibet escalated. An unexpected event happened to me and led me to write the first article under the name Skylark. Per suggestion of a friend, I chose a pen name to protect my identity. "Skylark" came in a flash of intuition. I liked it because lark was a very common bird that can be found almost everywhere in the world. And I always liked the singing of the “Skylark”, a particular one native to China.
The week after that I was on an emotional roller coaster. Watching the two groups of people who I connect to deeply being engulfed in hatred and violence has put a huge toll on me. But I managed to pull through… I knew something had changed inside of me and another dimension of my life is starting to unfold and will create a whole new layer of depth and width…
This morning was the first time I re-centered myself after this emotional roller coaster. In the crack of dawn, before I drove out to work, I decided to change the CD that I’ve been listening to in my car for the past week. As I pulled out the CD and put it back into its CD case, a line of small texts on the back of the case suddenly caught my eyes. Of course, this is a CD I’ve owned for years and never have I noticed this line on the case. It says,
“Like the lark at break of day, arising from the sullen earth, sing hymns at the heaven’s gate.” –Shakespeare, Sonnet 29
Suddenly, a wave of warmth enfolded me. I looked up through my tears-filled eyes. A thick layer of fog was dancing through the trees and the birds were chipping a spring time song… Everything is extremely bright in the morning sun. The world is painfully beautiful and full of life. Right then, I saw a smile delivered from the deep heart of the universe.
More on righteous indignation - By Rollin'
Very nicely written comments on anger. Just some thoughts on righteous indignation.For those who directly suffer from the infliction of hatred or violence, it requires an enormous effort to find this courage to "drive righteous indignation". If I experienced these inflictions, I know, in my heart, that I could not find the courage to override such sufferings.
When people suffer from inflictions of violence or hatred, how can they find this courage? Only through love and compassion. However, those who suffer are in such pain, grief; and sorrow that love and compassion is obfuscated in darkness. They cannot find the courage for righteous indignation.
But we can help by showing them that we feel their pain, share their sorrow, and understand their grief. Then, love and compassion will begin to shine through the darkness of suffering and we can find the courage of righteous indignation.
- rollin'
When people suffer from inflictions of violence or hatred, how can they find this courage? Only through love and compassion. However, those who suffer are in such pain, grief; and sorrow that love and compassion is obfuscated in darkness. They cannot find the courage for righteous indignation.
But we can help by showing them that we feel their pain, share their sorrow, and understand their grief. Then, love and compassion will begin to shine through the darkness of suffering and we can find the courage of righteous indignation.
- rollin'
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